All the Last Times

At bedtime on Sunday night, I gave Jaden a kiss and put him in his crib to sleep. Just like hundreds of nights before. What I didn't know is this: it was the last time I would ever put my child to bed in a crib!

Granted, he is nearly 3 and a half years old. Our other two children were out of the crib before his age and into big beds by age 3. We knew we really should be getting a big bed for Jaden, but we didn't feel rushed. I had slept in a crib at three years old - I still remember it! But Jaden is already 3 feet 3 inches tall and the crib was starting to get cramped. So when I was walking around the neighborhood yesterday at all the yard sales (it's an annual thing here on Memorial Day) and I spotted the perfect bed for Jaden, we bought it!

Mark went to work taking the crib apart and assembling the new bed in his room. It is a very nice bed - big storage drawers underneath for all his toys, a bookcase headboard. Just right for his little room! But seeing the crib dismantled and ready to be put into storage made me have a strange little lump in my throat. Good-bye crib!!! That piece of furniture and that stage of life has passed for us now.

Then I began to think about all the other things that I unknowingly did for the last time - all those times that passed un-noticed and unaware. All the first things are celebrated and recorded - first smile, first teeth, first steps... But the last things slip away silently and it is not until afterward that we notice they are gone......Like the last time I ever carried Joel in my arms. There was a last time, but who knows when that was? The last time I ever washed his hair... gave him a bath... helped him brush his teeth... wiped his nose...put him on time-out... walked him in a stroller... exchanged Eskimo kisses... buckled his seat belt? All those times have long passed. I never knew when I did any of those things for the last time.

When was the last time that I did all those things for Ivy? Rocked her to sleep... Held her on my hip... Fed her in the high chair... Kissed to make it better... Sprayed "No More Tangles" spray in her hair... Held her hand as we crossed the street... Let her stand on a chair in the kitchen so she could help stir... Played "hide and seek" with her? All those last times have all happened and I didn't know at those times it was the very last time!

One of the advantages of having a baby again after the other children were older is that I've realized more and more how quickly the stages pass. I've learned to treasure those moments along the way, all the "ordinary" times that later are looked at as being so tender and sweet in the memories. I've also experienced the blessings of having older kids and know that I have much to look forward to with Jaden!

Here are some pictures of some of those things that passed by seemingly unnoticed:

Holding Joel in my arms

Changing Joel's diapers on the table

Making Joel laugh with his favorite cow puppet

Joel riding horsey with Daddy

Our little family of four with toddler Joel and baby Ivy

Carrying Ivy in the sling

Mealtimes holding Ivy and Joel in the high chair

Giving Ivy a bath on the table

Ivy wearing an Easter bonnet!

Ivy snuggling up on Daddy's lap

Joel wearing a Cowboy hat and boots

OK - you get the idea! I could add about a hundred more pictures illustrating these things that passed by so quickly, but I'll stop here. Instead of grieving the passing of those things, I will embrace the moments today and look forward to the future memories that we will make!